I've decided to try and be terrible at everything I do.

In an effort to keep my mind moving during this time of year when all it wants to do is sit on the couch and drink hot cocoa spiked with caramel vodka (seriously - it's really good), I'm trying to work on blogs that might be less business-y and more thought-provoking.

Although the spiked hot cocoa would probably help.

Something that's on my mind that is a little work related, but more along the lines of mindfulness, is how paralyzed I feel when I'm trying something new. And I know I'm not alone because I spend half my time telling clients, "Don't worry about making your -blog, video, Facebook post, whatever - perfect. Just dive in and do it."

That's easier said than done - believe me, I know. I have stared down many a white page and blinking cursor, petrified that I won't be able to produce something worthwhile...which then means I don't produce anything at all. Large projects terrify me. I mean, what if what comes out of it is that I find out I don't know what I'm doing????

Find your inner suckiness.

Usually, what gets me going is allowing myself the freedom of being really bad. I typically produce the best writing when I tell myself, "It's okay if you write all day and only have one really good sentence to show for it."

And the funny thing is that it's usually the stuff that I've spent no time thinking about at all that gets the most accolades. It's the stuff that I think about for weeks and then finally sit down and accomplish that goes nowhere.

Hmm.

Anyway, today I came across an article titled You Have Permission to Suck which I thought sounded right up my alley. Do I really have permission??? But everything is supposed to be correct, perfect, and flawlessly executed right out of the gate! After all, if I produce something that sucks and I put it out there in the world...won't everyone think that I suck, too??

But, no, says author Louis Chew. That's not the case.

"We are not our work. The distinction between what we have managed to do and what we are must be made. Without separating ourselves from our accomplishments, we will never be able to venture into uncharted waters."

Huh. Okay. So, if I completely screw up on something (or do something well), that doesn't define who I am as a person?

I think I can get on board with that.

How does this affect me personally?

Well, I, like many women I know, suffer from Perfectis Everythingitis: Everything must be perfect at all times. I am not allowed to let a day go by without keeping my house neat, my kids in line, and my professional life ticking away at the perfect pace. I am not allowed to nap, cry for no reason, or generally have a day when all I do are things for myself. I will always have the right answers. I cannot deviate from my path. I. Will. Achieve.

What a load of crap.

Yes, having clean underwear is necessary. But if I keep myself in that "perfect" space, I'll never truly be able to accomplish anything worthwhile. That neat and tidy box I've created for myself might feel safe, but it doesn't lend itself to living as fully as I should.

Hear me now.