The Guilt of Achieving Your Professional Dreams

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Key Takeaways

• Achieving work/life balance can trigger unexpected guilt, especially in cultures that glorify overwork.

• True productivity isn’t measured by hours at your desk—it’s about focus, energy, and creativity.

• Rest and downtime are not indulgences; they’re investments in long-term performance and well-being.

• Reframing guilt into gratitude helps you appreciate the life and freedom you’ve worked hard to build.

• Modeling balance shows others—colleagues, friends, and family—that it’s possible to succeed without burnout.

• Overcoming guilt is about rewriting the script: balance is not a failure, it’s the goal you worked toward.

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Before I go further, I realize that this blog could just be a "me" thing. If it's not, and this resonates with you, I also wonder if this is a "woman" thing. I'm having a hard time picturing myself having this conversation with a male colleague, but that doesn't mean it doesn't apply to them.

I have spent well over a decade doing the work that I do. I have figured out when I'm most productive during my day and take advantage of that time. When I sit down to work, I'm all in and completely concentrated on the tasks at hand. Years of working on my business have led to improved processes and, frankly, just knowing down to the most minute details what it is that I do, what I provide, and how I can help people.

Knowing this, I should have been more self-aware all of these years that I was moving toward achieving the goal of having a lovely work/life balance. I'm not in the "churning, chained to my desk" years. I'm enjoying referrals from clients that I love and doing work that I truly enjoy while also being able to take time for myself.

Why, oh why, do I feel so guilty about it???

When most of us started our own businesses, THIS was what we worked toward. Those long hours of creating, connecting, and fine-tuning what we do have allowed me to emerge as a business owner who can also play golf during the week or cut out early to read by the neighborhood pool in the summer.

But - at least in America - it's hard to reconcile that with the "overworked" mentality that many of us think we should have. If I'm able to take time for myself, I often feel guilty that I'm not at my desk.

I said this to a colleague once, someone who also has her own business, and she said in disbelief, "Why do you feel guilty about this? Isn't this what we all work toward? You did it."

Yes, but I still can't let go.

In order to try, I asked Ye Olde ChatGPT what I should do to try to let go of this guilt. Here's what it came up with.

Redefine Productivity

Remind yourself that productivity isn’t just about hours worked—it’s also about energy, creativity, and focus. Rest, hobbies, and family time recharge you so that when you are working, you’re sharper and more effective.

(Ooooo...I really like this one.)

Recognize the “Always On” Myth

Modern work culture often glorifies busyness, but research shows burnout lowers long-term performance. Taking breaks and setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re slacking—it means you’re protecting your ability to contribute over the long haul.

(This is good, too. When talking to my financial advisor about retirement, I told her I have no intention of retiring anytime soon. My schedule already allows me to do the things I want to do while still having a career. I'm not a person who is counting the days toward retirement because I'm not overworking myself NOW.)

Replace Guilt with Gratitude

Instead of thinking “I should be working,” reframe it as “I’m grateful I have time to spend with my family/friends/self.” Gratitude helps shift your focus from what you think you should do to appreciating the life you’ve created.

(So good! It reminds me of something my sister often says: "Don't turn a gift into a burden.")

Model Balance for Others

Think about the message you’re sending to colleagues, kids, or friends. By living a balanced life, you show them it’s possible—and that can feel more meaningful than “just working more.”

Remind Yourself of Your “Why”

What are you working toward? If your answer includes health, relationships, or personal joy, then investing time in those areas is just as important as your paycheck.

Celebrate Rest as an Achievement

Cross “unplugged evening” or “family dinner” off your mental to-do list the same way you would a work task. It reframes rest as progress, not procrastination.

As with many things in life, I can see that overcoming this guilt is about reframing what that downtime means and how it's contributing to my life. And I love this "bottom line" from ChatGPT as well:

Guilt comes from old scripts—what you think you should be doing. Balance comes from writing your own.